Four-year-old Super Hero Found!

His Power? The amazing ability to Sexually Harass Grown Women! That's right, CNN just broke the news today. There is a little boy in Waco, Texas (where else?!) that has been suspended from preschool for allegedly rubbing his face inappropriately against a female employee's breasts! Now although this action used to be called a *hug,* a behavior typical of all healthy little boys and girls, this little boy does it in such a way as to make the lucky woman feel harassed...sexually. This is a super power indeed! How in the world does such a young boy create within an adult woman the feeling of being sexually threatened or offended? Was it the come-hither look in his eyes, or the charismatic way he nuzzled her breasts? Don Juan step aside, we have found a new and improved version, and this model starts his seduction before he's entered kindergarten!

How I wish I were making this up. It is a very sad example of just how ridiculous the United States' mentality is toward sexuality in general. Sexual harassment laws began as a protection measure against the real social abuse that can occur within a structured workplace environment where one person has the authority to promote or demote someone else. All this truly meant was that a boss, typically male, could be prosecuted for promoting or demoting an employee, typically female, for merits or offenses unrelated to the job...In other words Boss Man could no longer fire Secretary Woman because she refused to have sex with him during lunch. After some time these laws expanded to the much more general idea that everyone has the right to a non-offensive working environment. Here is where I believe the law went one step too far, because trying to define exactly what a non-offensive working environment is is very subjective. Where this woman may find pictures of naked women hanging in her co-workers cubicle offensive, that woman may be fine with it. Where this women may feel threatened by a male co-worker complimenting her skirt, that woman may feel such compliments give her the boost she needs to actually enjoy coming in every morning. One just never knows what will and will not be considered offensive or to whom. This is precisely what has lead to the ultra-conservative, modern rules that now govern professional behavior. Not only is everyone scared to say too much, it is nearly impossible to have a conversation beyond the shallowest of levels. Just imagine this:

Woman: "The weather is nice today."
Man: "Yeah I wish I was at the beach, don't you?"
Woman: "No I do not wish I was at the beach you pervert! Stop thinking about how I would look in a bikini!!"

Next thing you know she has filed a complaint with the company regarding his inappropriate innuendos about them naked at the beach, and two weeks later, (after a thorough investigation of course), he finds himself befuddled and jobless. Seems a ludicrous scenario that has taken the very well-intended sexual harassment laws to the extreme, right? I'm exaggerating now, right?

And yet when I return to reality, I am confronted with the headline...Four Year Old Suspended for Sexual Harassment. There is it. And the only thing I have left to say is, I sure hope I get to meet this boy wonder when he grows up, because if he has the sexual wherewithal to harass at four, just imagine the things he'll be able to do at thirty-five...