How to Use Your Penis; Techniques for Large and Small

Every morning my email inbox looks like this:
"Don't be the smallest guy in the room anymore!"
"Try our all natural male enhancers!"
"Pump it up and make her smile!"

Perhaps if I had a penis to begin with that would help. However, since I'm a woman and was conveniently born with a vagina, I find these emails even more intriguing. I know in our collective culture men are often portrayed as having unreasonable obsessions about their relative size, but is it true? Are men really that preoccupied with being bigger than everyone else, and if so, does penis size actually matter to women? Are men's concerns warranted?

Unfortunately many of these questions I can't answer using the wonderfully reliable technique of personal experience, because like I said, I don't own a penis. So, I'll skip right to answering the big question that I am able to shed some light on...Does penis size make that much of a difference to a woman in bed?! Finally the definitive answer to this age old question is - drum roll please -

YES! (and no...)

Sorry, but there really are pros and cons to being with any size penis. Moreover, what's considered a pro or a con is generally up to the individual woman to decide on based on her preferences.

Well then, what's a guy to do? First find out which category your woman falls into...Woman can be split into two main groups - Those that like having her cervix stimulated (ie banged away at!) and those that do not. Not sure what a cervix is or where you can find it on a map? Go here for more information. Suffice to say that you can think of the cervix as the "door" at the end of the vaginal "tunnel." (Yes,there is an end to all vaginas!) And for all the well-endowed men reading this, you've probably hit the "door" with the tip of your penis many times in the past. When this happened, did your partner tense and yell "OUCH!" or did she tense and moan "Oohhhhh!"? You get the idea.

The cervix differs in sensitivity from woman to woman, and some women find it very painful when a penis starts ramming away at it. On the other hand, some woman absolutely adore this feeling and can achieve orgasm from this type of stimulation alone (though this is rather rare). Although some women do fall in the middle of this scale, usually it's clear whether she likes or dislikes deep penetration.

So, if you have a large penis (even average will usually do) and she enjoys her cervix hit, then your penis is perfectly large enough for her full enjoyment. Great!

If you have a smaller than average penis and she doesn't enjoy her cervix hit, then you shouldn't worry about needing a larger penis because she wouldn't like it anyway. Great!

However, here are some tips for those of you who don't fall into either of the above categories...

Techniques:

Problem: You're Too Big! (She says "ouch"!)

1. Go gently and don't push in all the way! (Obviously)
2. Put her on the bottom laying on her stomach with her legs closed. You enter her from behind. Because her legs are mostly closed the penis can't penetrate as deeply. However, her thighs provide a great deal of friction as the penis slides between them so no sensation is really lost for the man.
3. Any woman on top position. These are particularly good because she has complete control over how deep she wants you to go. It lets you just sit back and enjoy the ride without having to worry about hurting her.


4. Have her hold the base of your penis during penetration. Aside from the added intimacy, having her hand wrapped around the base of your penis as you thrust prevents you from going in all the way. And just like in #2, her hand continues to provide you with full-shaft sensations. Plus, this can be used in almost any position to help decrease the depth of penetration.

Problem: You're Too Small (She says "ooohhh" but you can't reach that far!)

1. Depending on how small you actually are, a simple change in position should do the trick to satisfy her desire for "Deeper! Please go Deeper!" One of the best positions is on her back with her legs raised, either holding her legs up with her hands behind her knees or placing her ankles on your shoulders if she is flexible enough. By tilting her hips forward and up, your penis can go deeper than in most other positions.


2. Doggy-style, the classic. This position isn't an all-star favorite for nothing! With her on all fours and you entering from behind, not only is the view great for you, but the your ability to penetrate deeply is greatly increased. Also, by varying her position slightly and lowering her upper body to the floor while keeping her hips up, she can help to adjust the depth of penetration to her liking. Arching her back downward will also help.


Still not deep enough? Then it's time to get really inventive!

The sex toy industry has thought of (almost) everything, so there really is no excuse for not enjoying yourself in bed...and you don't have to rely on drastic or risky measures such as surgery or strange herbal concoction. Why not just explore a bit and invite some new gadgets in to play?

For example, there are plenty of strap-on choices to peruse. No, no strap-ons aren't just what lesbians use in porn flicks, many of them have hollow inner tubes designed for men as well! I'm not going to go into it now, as this post is long enough, but if you're interested go here for some ideas!

Want More Sexual Position Ideas? Get a free copy of the Kama Sutra (with pictures) when you sign up for my free newsletter - Letters From Sexy...

Phew, I hope all this has helped and maybe given you a new perspective on the importance of penis size. Because it's not the size that matters...Oh wait, yes it is...