Intriguing Your Lover...Again

My husband was as a Pirate for Halloween once. It was some of the best sex we've ever had.

One of the main reasons sex is so exciting in the beginning of any relationship is because your partner is a new experience for you. Humans not only enjoy, but seek out new experiences all the time. It's just part of who we are. And while this adventurous streak leads us to do things like use fire and invent the wheel, it also leads us to stray from our long term and otherwise happy relationships.

The good news is that providing novelty from time to time isn't as hard as it may seem. Depending on how observant your partner is, very small changes might be enough to add that little shimmer of something new. (For those of you who have not-so-observant partners you might have to hit them over the head with something more dramatic, something from the deeper crevices of your twisted imagination perhaps).

Maybe your man has never had sex with a blond before so you buy a cheap wig and surprise him, or maybe your girlfriend thinks that new cologne is particularly intriguing, or she's never seen you wear that color before. It really doesn't matter what the change is, as long as it's noticeable and out of character.

"Out of character? But they fell in love with me!" Yes, of course they did, and they still love you, don't worry. But shaking up the usual, whether it's clothing, hairstyle, makeup, or even the way you do a certain daily routine ("Honey, why are you getting out of bed so early? It's Saturday and you always sleep in...") will start to make your partner question just how well they actually know you. And this makes them curious about you, yes curious, something they probably haven't been for quite a while.

Now that they're curious, you have their attention, and once you have that the sparks will begin to fly all by themselves again. A word of warning, you must devise a little plan of attack at this point, because remember how easily bored we are? You have to do something to keep their attention! Little sexy hints are a great way. If you're typically not very affectionate, be sure to give a quick kiss to his/her neck before you sit down to dinner (a little swipe of the tongue wouldn't hurt either). The idea is to surprise, to throw your partner a little off balance. You know yourselves best, what could you do that would cause your lover's eyebrows to raise? Even learning a new word and casually throwing it in during a conversation could do the trick. It just depends on you as a couple.

But if you want all this preparation to lead to a passionate quickie on the counter, be sure to tantalize them with unexpected touches throughout. They don't even have to be particularly sexy touches...Put your hand on her back as you walk by, or accidentally brush against him. Each time you let yourself into your lover's private space it reminds them of your shared intimacy.

So, now that you've peaked your lover's curiosity, and secured their attention...Go ahead and take advantage of it. Your lover will enjoy conquering someone new, and you'll happily surrender yourself for the taking.

PS - This type of trickery is just below the wicked fun of all out role-play. Role playing works so well because it uses the foundational ideas of character manipulation and physical representation to remind lovers that everyone has multiple personalities. You may think you know your parter through and through, but given the right circumstances and the right motivation, everyone has their own set of endless, erotic surprises...But that's for another post.