Sexual Force in Women's Fantasies - Why Do We Have Them?

Considered one of the most controversial topics in sex research today, the prevalence of force in sexual fantasies is both undeniable and unexplained. For a myriad of cultural and societal reasons, research into this topic is scarce and the findings are largely inconclusive. Their are, however, a few prevailing theories as to why people, women in particular, become aroused while thinking of scenarios involving the loss of personal control and/or submission - sometimes to the point of imagining mental and physical violence to themselves (as in rape fantasies).

The most respected theories to date are the Sex-Guilt Theory (Knafo & Jaffe, 1984), Erotophilia-erotophobia Scale (Fisher, Byrne, White, & Kelley, 1988, p. 123), and the Feminist Perspective.

Simply put, the Sex-Guilt theory suggests that women who feel the least guilty about their own desires and sexuality engage in more force fantasies than do women with a high degree of sexual guilt because the less guilt one has, the more open one is to fantasizing about unconventional sex acts. But there is a big problem.

This same theory has also been used to argue the exact opposite. Some researchers hypothesize that women with more sex guilt will have more force fantasies because mentally relinquishing control to someone else allows these guilt-laden women a release from responsibility for their sexual behavior. By saying to themselves, "My lover made me do it" instead of "I did it because I wanted to" gives them an emotional scapegoat. So, because the Sex-Guilt Theory can account for a high amount of force fantasies in both low and high guilt women, I don't believe it has much explanatory value.

The Erotophelia-erotophobia Scale is exactly as it sounds. On the Erotophelia side are all those people who feel great about sex and enjoy it very much. They would probably, but not necessarily, be the same people who feel the least guilty about their sexual behaviors. On the Erotophobia side are all those people who do not like sex and may even fear the act itself. With regard to force fantasies, those on the Erotophelia end are the most likely to report having them. A recent study conducted in 2006 confirmed the association between the Sex-Guilt Theory and Erotophelia-Erotophobia Scale.

"It would be anticipated that women with low sexual guilt would not only have more force fantasies, but would also have more varied and frequent sexual experiences as well as a greater general affinity toward sex. In this study, sexual guilt was negatively linked to sexual experience and erotophilia, providing additional support for this openness-to-sexuality theory." (Horne & Shulman, 2006)

Finally, an answer, right? This means women who are open to sexuality fantasize more about force! Oh wait, let's think a moment...Maybe the open-to-sexuality group of women is willing to share the fact that they have these fantasies to researchers, whereas the closed-to-sexuality group of women is not. If I had to guess, I'd say much of the apparent differences in fantasy content is a problem of self-reporting rather than an actual difference. Perhaps the Feminist Perspective will shed some light on this issue.

Ahhh, Feminists hate this topic because it makes them fight each other - just like the pornography issue. Considering myself as part of this group, should we embrace force fantasies as part of our inherent sexuality, reveling in our desires for sexual submission - or are these fantasies an outcome of our internalized male-dominated cultural values?

Another great question arises, what of lesbians who have force fantasies? Although the research on this is well - nonexistent as far as I know - if you search the web their are plenty of sites dedicated to exploiting just this desire. Women's force fantasies do not always involve men as the aggressors. (And I do realize that many men also have force fantasies with women as the dominant, but I am limiting this discussion to women's fantasies...I'm not trying to write a book here!) Clearly feminists are not going to help solve this puzzle.

With the muddled theories and research failing to provide any real conclusions, I'm left once again to my own devices to answer the question of Why. And although I'll admit to having nothing to support my view, here it is. I think women, and many men, are turned on by the idea of being overpowered by someone else because it's exciting and arousing in a very physiological sense. If we are suddenly attacked or feel threatened, our bodies basically respond the same way as when we're sexually aroused. Our hearts beat faster, our senses become more acute, our attention focuses sharply, and for that short period of time we are transported outside of our usual state of consciousness into another. Our mind becomes confused and begins to blend the sexual with the threatening because they "feel" the same, at least in the beginning stages.

So, that's it, my entire theory. Easy. Simple. No cultural this, no societal that. Just plain physiological experience. And for the record, don't feel guilty if you do have these fantasies; enjoy them, relish them, and forget them...After all, when something is this fun, who cares about why?!

Sources:

Fisher, W. A., Byrne, D., White, L. A., & Kelley, K. (1988). Erotophobia-erotophilia as a dimension of personality. The Journal of Sex Research, 25(1), 123-151.

Horne, Sharon G., Shulman, Julie L. (2006). Guilty or Not? A Path Model of Women's Sexual Force Fantasies. The Journal of Sex Research, 43. 368+.

Knafo, D., & Jaffe, Y. (1984). Sexual fantasizing in males and females. Journal of Research in Personality, 18, 451-462.