What Type of Seducer are You?

Here's a little silly fun for your Saturday...Apparently my seduction style is "Hard to Get." Hmmm...Figures! Enjoy!

Your Seduction Style: Prized Object

The seduction game you play is tried, true, and still effective: hard to get. You know that the best seducers turn the tables - and get their crush to seduce them. The one running has the power, and you're a challenge that is worth the chase. You are a master of enticing and pulling back. Giving a little and taking some away. You are controlled enough to know rewards come after a long seduction dance. Even though you want to call, email, or say "I love you" first - you don't! You're style is the perfect mix of hot and cold - so much so that you have many suitors. Think Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's ... or any of those creepy guys from the Bachelor. You're skilled at inspiring a chase. The real test is picking the person to slow down for.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

How to Use Your Penis; Techniques for Large and Small

Every morning my email inbox looks like this:
"Don't be the smallest guy in the room anymore!"
"Try our all natural male enhancers!"
"Pump it up and make her smile!"

Perhaps if I had a penis to begin with that would help. However, since I'm a woman and was conveniently born with a vagina, I find these emails even more intriguing. I know in our collective culture men are often portrayed as having unreasonable obsessions about their relative size, but is it true? Are men really that preoccupied with being bigger than everyone else, and if so, does penis size actually matter to women? Are men's concerns warranted?

Unfortunately many of these questions I can't answer using the wonderfully reliable technique of personal experience, because like I said, I don't own a penis. So, I'll skip right to answering the big question that I am able to shed some light on...Does penis size make that much of a difference to a woman in bed?! Finally the definitive answer to this age old question is - drum roll please -

YES! (and no...)

Sorry, but there really are pros and cons to being with any size penis. Moreover, what's considered a pro or a con is generally up to the individual woman to decide on based on her preferences.

Well then, what's a guy to do? First find out which category your woman falls into...Woman can be split into two main groups - Those that like having her cervix stimulated (ie banged away at!) and those that do not. Not sure what a cervix is or where you can find it on a map? Go here for more information. Suffice to say that you can think of the cervix as the "door" at the end of the vaginal "tunnel." (Yes,there is an end to all vaginas!) And for all the well-endowed men reading this, you've probably hit the "door" with the tip of your penis many times in the past. When this happened, did your partner tense and yell "OUCH!" or did she tense and moan "Oohhhhh!"? You get the idea.

The cervix differs in sensitivity from woman to woman, and some women find it very painful when a penis starts ramming away at it. On the other hand, some woman absolutely adore this feeling and can achieve orgasm from this type of stimulation alone (though this is rather rare). Although some women do fall in the middle of this scale, usually it's clear whether she likes or dislikes deep penetration.

So, if you have a large penis (even average will usually do) and she enjoys her cervix hit, then your penis is perfectly large enough for her full enjoyment. Great!

If you have a smaller than average penis and she doesn't enjoy her cervix hit, then you shouldn't worry about needing a larger penis because she wouldn't like it anyway. Great!

However, here are some tips for those of you who don't fall into either of the above categories...

Techniques:

Problem: You're Too Big! (She says "ouch"!)

1. Go gently and don't push in all the way! (Obviously)
2. Put her on the bottom laying on her stomach with her legs closed. You enter her from behind. Because her legs are mostly closed the penis can't penetrate as deeply. However, her thighs provide a great deal of friction as the penis slides between them so no sensation is really lost for the man.
3. Any woman on top position. These are particularly good because she has complete control over how deep she wants you to go. It lets you just sit back and enjoy the ride without having to worry about hurting her.


4. Have her hold the base of your penis during penetration. Aside from the added intimacy, having her hand wrapped around the base of your penis as you thrust prevents you from going in all the way. And just like in #2, her hand continues to provide you with full-shaft sensations. Plus, this can be used in almost any position to help decrease the depth of penetration.

Problem: You're Too Small (She says "ooohhh" but you can't reach that far!)

1. Depending on how small you actually are, a simple change in position should do the trick to satisfy her desire for "Deeper! Please go Deeper!" One of the best positions is on her back with her legs raised, either holding her legs up with her hands behind her knees or placing her ankles on your shoulders if she is flexible enough. By tilting her hips forward and up, your penis can go deeper than in most other positions.


2. Doggy-style, the classic. This position isn't an all-star favorite for nothing! With her on all fours and you entering from behind, not only is the view great for you, but the your ability to penetrate deeply is greatly increased. Also, by varying her position slightly and lowering her upper body to the floor while keeping her hips up, she can help to adjust the depth of penetration to her liking. Arching her back downward will also help.


Still not deep enough? Then it's time to get really inventive!

The sex toy industry has thought of (almost) everything, so there really is no excuse for not enjoying yourself in bed...and you don't have to rely on drastic or risky measures such as surgery or strange herbal concoction. Why not just explore a bit and invite some new gadgets in to play?

For example, there are plenty of strap-on choices to peruse. No, no strap-ons aren't just what lesbians use in porn flicks, many of them have hollow inner tubes designed for men as well! I'm not going to go into it now, as this post is long enough, but if you're interested go here for some ideas!

Want More Sexual Position Ideas? Get a free copy of the Kama Sutra (with pictures) when you sign up for my free newsletter - Letters From Sexy...

Phew, I hope all this has helped and maybe given you a new perspective on the importance of penis size. Because it's not the size that matters...Oh wait, yes it is...

Wanna Play Dr.?

When she was three
Her barbies always did it on the first date
Now she's with me,
There's never any need for them to demonstrate...

Barenaked Ladies - "Life, In a Nutshell" -

In today's world of high-profile child molestation and sexual abuse cases, one of our most used coping mechanisms as a society seems to be the complete denial of positive childhood sexual experiences. As someone who used to be employed in the child care industry, both privately as a sitter and professionally as a kindergarten teacher, I know how "touchy" this issue can be.

When something even vaguely sexual came up, I reported it to the parents immediately - mainly to cover myself in case it became a contentious issue later on. For instance, around the ages of two-four, as many parents can relate, a common "problem" is that children take their clothes off and refuse to put them back on. Sure, you can make them stay dressed, but then you get to enjoy an hour of crying, instead of an hour of happy naked time. So, when a parent would come home to a smiling shirtless three year old instead of a fully clothed screaming monster, I would make sure to explain why. Luckily everyone I worked for were good people who just laughed and said, "Yeah we know. He/she does it to us too!"

But while running around naked is one thing, what happens when you find your toddler and their "best friend" in the closet kissing each other's genitals? You might say this type of sexually explicit behavior doesn't happen at such a young age, but the research into sexual development begs to differ. In fact, the rudiments of human sexual behavior are present from birth. Granted, these behaviors are exploratory in nature and not yet goal oriented as they are during puberty and beyond, but their existence shouldn't and can't be denied.

So what exactly is normal and healthy sexual play for your little ones? Like most aspects of development, it depends, but certain trends show time and again. In 1958 Spiro found (I know it's an old study but these things don't change that quickly!) "that the most frequent expression of heterosexual behavior consisted of a simple embrace of one child by another, followed in frequency by stroking and caressing, kissing, and touching of genitals" (Martinson, 1994) between the ages of three and eight. Interestingly, many of these sensually exploratory behaviors occurred less frequently or stopped all together when children reached the age of five due to social conditioning. Already children become aware that playing these types of games or touching their friends in these ways was something adults largely disapproved of. The assumption is then that children's games would progressively become more goal-oriented and sexually explicit earlier on without the inhibitory effects of social conditioning.

Given that children will naturally explore what feels good, how should you react as a parent? Well, that's really up to you and your personal sex values. One way to look at it is from a health rather than a moral perspective. How much information do you want your children to have about sex and how do you want them to acquire it? Simply ignoring it or pretending that children aren't sexual will not make it magically go away. At some point every parent will be confronted with this issue, and how you react will have an effect of how your child perceives sexuality, at least through adolescence, and potentially for the rest of their lives.

Luckily, giving children correct biological information about sexuality and reproduction does not have to be as challenging as many people make it out to be. Children are curious and open-minded little things. Telling a six year old that "a baby comes out of the vagina" when they ask is really not that shocking to them. The conversation will probably be very anticlimactic from your perspective as their reaction will likely be "oh" or "gross"...However if you wait until that six year old is twelve, and that twelve year old has always believed babies come out of the belly-button, you will certainly rock their world and send them for reality loop when you give them the real answer. In my opinion, I'd rather tell them the truth a little at a time when they ask about it rather than build up a series of age-appropriate lies that will later give them cause to doubt the validity of everything I say.

So when it's my turn to open up that closet door, what will I do? I'll Laugh...and then I'll probably laugh some more...But once I regain my composure I'll just say, "OK kids...put your clothes back on, let's go color instead..."

Source:

Martinson, Floyd M. (1994) The Sexual Life of Children. Bergin & Garvey, Westport CT.

How Kinky is Your iPod?

Every day I have the pleasure of scouring the internet for new sex things...be it interesting porn, sex health discoveries, or sexual policies. I see so much sexually related material that it all starts to jumble together and look the same. But every once in a while I find something that makes me smile...

Yep, the iBuzz. Human ingenuity at its finest! I wonder who thought of turning the ultra-sleek Apple iPod into a discreet, music adjustable, sex toy! I also wonder how the Apple corp. feels about this naughty accessory. I'm sure they disapprove since it's not made by Apple, and has the possibility of tarnishing their carefully constructed image.

Maybe that's one of the reasons I haven't heard of it before. Apparently there was an iBuzz One that slipped by me, and I'm catching on to the trend at iBuzz Two. Not that we usually see sex toy commercials on TV, but wouldn't this clip be great to stealthily insert during prime time on a boring Wednesday night? After all, there's no objectionable content - no nudity, no violence - just two small innocent buzzing things instead of headphones. And the bunny is so cute! Really, it has family appeal.

But all jokes aside, the toy itself is a great idea. While the iBuzz One was, well, made for when you're going solo...the iBuzz Two allows for mutual gratification. It's a couple's toy, and apparently comes with the Girl Clit Bunny and Boy Cock Ring. I suppose if your partner of choice is the same gender you might have to fight this one out...And there's still the question of who gets to pick the music...

Bah, Details!

So, if you'd like more information on how to get your hot, wet, slippery hands on one you can visit here. Don't worry, there's also a link there to the buy it in the US. Go ahead, do a search. I promise they're hard to find! Who loves you? :)

The Allure of Darkness

Sometimes inspiration comes in the strangest of places. As I was exiting the bathroom last night, instead of opening the door and turning off the light as usual, I accidentally turned off the light before opening the door, momentarily plunging myself into utter darkness. I was surprised by an unexpected feeling of delicious apprehension. I love being in the dark, but recently I haven't had the opportunity to sink into its depths. For reasons I won't go into here, I've had to sleep with a night light for the past few months, something I normally don't do because...like I said...I prefer the dark.

So, as I stood there, perfectly alone, perfectly still...I began to feel...aroused. How curious, I thought to myself. I became instantly turned on just by flipping the light switch. Excited, focused, waiting...It really was that easy. Of course, because I enjoy these sensations so much, I lingered for a few extra seconds in the bathroom, just for the fun of it...

Having experienced that, I began to wonder. Surely, if I had that reaction to being in the dark, other people must as well. I always figured people made love in the dark out of shyness, lack of confidence in their bodily appearance, and so forth. After all, since men are such visually stimulated creatures, they like to fight for sex in the light. But maybe there's more to this dark sex desire than the negative motivations I've attributed to it.

Maybe surrounding ourselves with a mysterious void forces our partner's actions to become our entire world. Like wearing a blindfold, every touch becomes that much more intense, every whisper seeps into our pores, and we rid ourselves of all those pesky visual distractions. (Especially true for women who often get distracted by things like dirty socks on the floor or a glass that might be knocked over!)

Plus, aside from the sensual advantages, for many people, myself included, there's still a tiny part of them that's afraid of the dark. Sure, we rationalize to ourselves that just because the lights are off does not mean monsters automatically crawl out from under the bed...But then there's the other part of our brain, way in the primitive section, that still freaks out regardless of what we tell ourselves. Thank goodness for this throwback though, because it just adds to the spice of sex in the dark all the more! It's an innocent, momentary thrill that kick starts our adrenaline, focuses our attention, and places us in the perfect state of mind for some naughty adult play...Perhaps imagining that the scary monster does come out...and slips quietly under the sheets...and begins to run his hands all over my...Oh wait, sorry, I digress!

Anyway, during your next nocturnal bathroom break, be wicked and turn off the light before you open the door. Yeah it's silly...But you know you're going to try it anyway. :)

Two Minutes of Perfectly Crafted Sexual Passion

Before getting into the details of why I think this is one of the hottest kissing scenes ever made, I'll give you a very brief contextual recap. For those of you who haven't already seen "The Illusionist" (I highly recommend it), the characters in this scene were childhood sweethearts who were forced to separate. They accidentally find each other many years later. At this point she is engaged to be married to a prince (I think) and he is a highly respected touring magician. The sexual tension between them builds during brief, secretive meetings...until neither of them can hide their passion for the other. She goes to his house in the middle of the night to finally be honest, and to find out exactly where they stand...Now watch the clip (feel free to stop it after the sex is over!)

So, let's go play-by-play through these absolutely delicious couple of minutes. First, they are angry and frustrated with each other. Always a good start for passionate sex. As she begins her tirade, he pauses, waits...then at just the right moment, without one answering word, he walks up to her and kisses her...But it's the way he walks...so determined, so intent. His hand comes up to hold her neck, his thumb brushes her cheek tenderly, calming her...

To all men reading this, if you ever want to shut a woman up during a *stupid* fight, this is the most constructive way to do it. (This will only work during inconsequential "she's PMSing" kind of fights, not the real "you cheated on me, you Bastard" kind of fights!) That's my professional advice. Ha.

Moving right along. He leads her inside his house, all the while watching her, turning her around to place her just where he wants her. She tries to regain some measure of control, tries to initiate a kiss...but he stops her! Again he takes her face in his hand, but not tenderly this time. Now that she's agreed to enter his house, his territory, she'll play by his rules. His hold is somewhat threatening as he uses controlled force to push her against the wall. The tension in his body, the hunger in his eyes, his every movement reinforces his desire for her. It's obvious he's waited too long for this, imagined it, dreamed about it...and now that it's here he's not about to let her ruin his hard-earned conquest.

But instead of fully attacking...he lingers, draws out and savors the moment. There's a big difference between lingering and hesitating. He's not hesitant. He's not trying to decide if he should or shouldn't. That decision has long passed. Instead he wants to revel in every single second of her surrender...And still he refuses to give her the satisfaction of a kiss.

He begins to undress her, and she takes his lead. When he opens her shirt, he finds she's wearing the necklace he made for her when they were young. It's a confirmation of his ownership. After all this time, even while engaged to another man, she still displays her secret symbolic loyalty to him. Like a traditional wedding ring, or a non-traditional collar, the necklace speaks to him of her devotion...As she realizes what's briefly caught his attention...As they simultaneously understand that what's between them is real, lasting through time, stronger than separation...the intensity rises to a new level...

Finally he loses his own carefully constructed composure. Even in his most fulfilling fantasy, she was never wearing the necklace...its meaning, its surprise...it overwhelms them both, and he no longer has the will to prolong the moment...He has to kiss her, he needs to kiss her, and so he does..fully and greedily.

In a way, her complete fidelity to him causes his emotional surrender to her...And for the rest of the scene they make love as perfectly matched equals...without secrets, without fear, and with utter abandon.

Add to all this the sweeping score by Philip Glass and the beautiful cinematography, and what you get is a two minute example of perfectly crafted sexual passion. I thoroughly enjoyed it...

Want to See a Live Pole Dance while Lounging on Your Own Bed?

Just imagine you're a man (or maybe you really are a man, just go with it, OK?) and it's late on a Friday night...You turn down the lights, take off your clothes, and slip between the silky smooth sheets of your bed...In front of you, right there in your bedroom, is a gleaming silver pole...And you wait.


After a few seconds the music starts...It's deep, hypnotic, and you begin to forget about your stressful week...Then, in your bathroom doorway, a woman appears...It's your wife...but there's something different about her tonight, something you can't put your finger on...


She ignores you as your eyes follow her swaying hips to the pole...She begins to move, her body twisting, back arching...slowly at first...Her eyes are closed, and you feel like you're intruding on a private world all her own...It's both voyeuristic and intimate at the same time...


You're mesmerized as her movements become more open, dynamic, revealing...She presses her belly and thighs against the pole as though it were a lover, tangled and intertwined...Her jumps are gracefully executed, her breasts are displayed for you...just you...


And as the music starts to subside, she wraps her leg high around the metal and spins to the floor, shifts to her final position...She's kneeling, lit by the glow of her own sensuality...


Finally, she raises her eyes to yours, intensely, hungrily...She is transformed. And for perhaps the very first time, you see the real woman, the powerful, secretive, seductive woman, who allows herself to be called your wife.


Not too shabby for a "quiet" night with the Mrs. is it?

Now, I'm not a very trendy person, but this is something I could really get into! I'm very excited to hear that one of the hottest trends in home fitness and entertainment is Pole Dancing! Not only do I think watching a woman spin and twirl herself around a larger-than-life phallic symbol is incredibly sexy, but the physical/health benefits for the dancers are undeniable.

Unfortunately, the fact that it's almost exclusively performed in adult-related places by women who are either naked, or close to naked, for the sole purpose of exciting men, seems to detract from the true talent and artistry that's necessary to do these fantastic moves. Maybe this new pole-dance-at-home trend will help to give these dancers the respect and admiration they deserve.

So, let's take a moment to explore the delicious ramifications of unleashing your (or your lover's) innate sensuality...with the help of Mr. Pole. As a woman I can honestly tell you that one of the most powerful sources of self esteem and self worth I have is through my sexuality. I love knowing that if I move my lusciously feminine curves in just the right way, or bend over at just the right angle, I have the ability to captivate a man's attention, draw him to me, and leave him wanting more.

It's like a secret weapon, a wonderfully deceptive trick that's always at my disposal, at all women's disposal, even if they don't realize it. Pole dancing, like stripping, exploits this wonderful fact, and learning some moves, even simple ones, can undoubtedly have a huge effect on a woman's confidence and sex life.

The very idea of giving my lover such an erotic and naughty show does make me nervous, but also exquisitely excited. Both viewer and performer become aroused, and unlike club performers, these private dancers can be touched...and fondled...and fu...Well, you get the idea.

So, if this is something you're serious about getting into, there are apparently all types of pole options - fixed, semi-fixed, portable. You can take classes, or learn via DVD. And if you really get into it you can even start your own business and go house to house teaching other women how to do it!

Pole Dancing at home! Ha, what a fantastic idea!

PS- I just learned how to put vids on here...So now I can put even more sexy stuff in my posts! (I'm excited, are you?!)