5 Reasons Why Masturbation is Good for Mothers

I have to start by thanking Kristofer for pointing out that May has been declared National Masturbation Month since 1995 by the wonderful people over at Good Vibrations. How this has slipped by me is anyone's guess, so I'm giving you, my dear reader, my not-so-sincerest apologies for having missed this monumental event in the past.

That being said, this weekend is also Mother's Day, and I think it would be fun to celebrate both events at once. Here goes.

Apparently Masturbation Month was declared as a way of raising awareness about masturbation and taking away the taboos that surrounded this incredibly common, though rarely discussed, practice. Twelve years later, I think masturbation has finally secured its place as an accepted and rather mundane part of almost everyone's life - except perhaps the very conservatively religious among us. Even Christians are finding ways to reconcile their beliefs with masturbation. Because of this, Masturbation Month seems to have transformed into a purely uninhibited celebration of auto-erotic activity. Now, now, calm yourself! I can see the crazy gleam of excitement dancing in your, er, eyes.

And because you guys are a particularly clever lot of blog readers, I'm sure you've already heard about the health benefits of masturbation so I won't bore you with that stuff here. I do, however, want to point out why masturbation is particularly good for wives and mothers, though I realize many mothers are not wives! So without further ado...

Reasons Why Mothers Should Masturbate:

1. Stress Reduction! Yes, masturbation really does relax you, and mothers are some of the most stressed-out people I know! A more relaxed Mom will make the whole family happier. How does that old saying go? "When Mom's not happy, nobody's happy!"
   
2. More Fun For Dad! It seems the more women masturbate, the more open they are to their partner's sexual advances. At first this seems odd. If she's taking care of her "needs" by herself, wouldn't she want less sex? Turns out the answer is no. Now whether that's because masturbating makes women hornier, or horny women masturbate more is for you to decide. Also, women like to have multiple orgasms...Maybe the first one she gives herself is like an appetizer, gearing her up for more action with her man.
   
3. It Promotes Sleep! Mothers are notorious for being in bad moods due to lack of sleep, especially new Moms who wake up frequently to nurse or give bottles during the night. Masturbating at bed time is a perfect way to help your body wind-down from a busy day.
4. Strengthens the Pelvic Floor! Do your Kegels, do your kegels! It's like a mother's mantra during and after pregnancy. Luckily, orgasms are another great way to tone up those inner muscles. This may be one of the only honestly fun kinds of exercise that exists.
5. Did I Already Say Stress Reduction?

Happy Masturbation-Mother's Day Month!!

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Un-Saintly Sexy Mamas

Photo Kindly Provided By: A. Kaye Photo - The Art of Women

I have found a place on the internet where real women, who happen to be mothers as well, meet to talk about relationships and sex. At CafeMom not only do they chat about the normal "Oh, now that I'm a Mom I don't feel like having sex anymore" problems, but they also open up about every aspect of their sex lives. Message board topics include "Multiple Orgasms," "How Often Does Your Husband Masturbate?" and "Anyone Else Bi-Curious?" The discussions are graphic, uncensored, and brutally honest. I was very impressed by the thoughtfulness, open-mindedness, and supportive attitudes of these women.

I was also pleasantly surprised to find that their were quite a few Groups dedicated to sexuality. Each group has hundreds to thousands of members and have very active communities. For instance, I posted an introduction and within twenty minutes had three replies. These women are lively, and certainly not shy!

As you may know from my previous posts, I don't like or agree with the stereotype of the "Virginal Mother" who is often pitted against the other cultural archetype, the "Whore." As a woman if you are "too" sexual, you can't be a good mother, and conversely as a mother you are expected to be ultra-conservative and hush-hush about sex. Thank goodness for places like CafeMom!

So, if you are a mother and refuse to relinquish your wonderfully sexual side, take a look at CafeMom, or go directly to one of the groups that I'm talking about by clicking a banner below. I promise that at the least you'll be entertained, and will probably learn something here and there.

Grown & Sexy Seriously Sexual Chat

Sexy Mamas!

More than 69

PS - There are also lots of other Groups that chat about other Motherly things...It's not all about sex!

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For Her...I'd Become A Lesbian!

So, Angelina has once again been making the news! Now normally I'm not all that into what celebrities are or aren't doing, because frankly, the lot of them seem like rather boring people. But every once in a while someone comes along who catches my attention, and Angelina is by far my favorite famous person to watch! Sure there are lots of beautiful women in show biz, but I haven't heard of anyone else wearing a vial of their lover's blood around their necks...at least not publicly! She, on the other hand, is brazen enough to talk about all of her wonderfully devilish sexual desires without as much as a blush...Finally a woman who makes me proud!

I guess according to recent interviews and what-not, Angelina's saint-like image of late has finally been shattered. Many newspapers are quoting her as saying that her new baby is "a blob" and that she has been too snippy with reporters on her recent red carpet strolls. So what?! If I were her I'd be snippy and sarcastic too. This whole celebrity culture is crazy! She's being perfectly honest and giving reporters drivel answers to their drivel questions. Good! And about the baby, I'm a new mother with a three month old daughter myself, and I can tell you this - my daughter was a blob until about a month ago when she started to have some sort of a personality! That's exactly what newborns are like...blobs...they can't even hold their own heads up! Now before you go too crazy know that I love my daughter and would do anything for her, but I'm not going to pretend to be one of those mothers who go around saying how perfect every moment of motherhood is! Ha! Those mothers must just be on some sort of hormonal acid trip, because having a newborn is not all that much "fun."


But let's go back for a moment to Angelina's open sexuality. Back in June 2005, an article came out in the Sunday Mirror about Angelina, entitled "The Making of a Sex Goddess." In this article she is quoted as saying,

"I was having sex and it didn't feel like enough and my emotions kept wanting to break out and be honest. So I grabbed a knife and cut him, and he cut me. We were covered in blood. My heart was racing. It was something dangerous and alive."

Hmmm, all this at 14 years old! If you aren't familiar with sadomasochistic practices, using a knife, razor, etc. on your partner during sex for the sole purpose of causing arousal is called 'cutting.' This type of S/M play is largely considered very extreme, even in S/M circles, and is only done with many considerations - for both mental and physical health. (The blade is always sterilized, the partners have explicitly talked about doing this, etc.) By writing about this I am not telling anyone to go out there and start cutting their partners during sex!!!

That said, for many people blood is a turn-on...the site of it oozing out and trickling over the skin, the vibrant red color, the coppery taste...(you are now either completely grossed out or intrigued...which is it?!) Also, the trust and emotional intimacy between partners that is necessary for cutting to take place is in itself a reason to enjoy it, despite the physical discomfort of the actual cut. Like Angelina described, it is exciting, out of the ordinary, forbidden, and can be an incredibly sexually fulfilling experience for both people.

Why would I become a lesbian for her? Because I like the darker side of sexuality. I like when people let go of their inhibitions and do what they really feel like doing...even if it is slicing into each other. I like that her passion exceeds the boundaries of 'usual' sex and drifts into a psychological need for freedom. I like that she wore a vial of her lover's blood around her neck...it's a form of primitive intimacy that most people might not understand, or won't admit to understanding.

It's raw. It's uncivilized. It's what sex really is.

Therefore, Angelina has my highest respect for telling the truth about all aspects of her sexuality...from S&M to Motherhood...because although we don't acknowledge it, being a sex goddess and a mother are two sides of the exact same coin!

Is Pregnancy Sexy (& Should It Be)?

I guess you could say it all started with the infamous Demi Moore...You remember, that one magazine cover that gave rise to an entire social debate over whether or not a pregnant female body is or should be considered sexy...If you were living in a cave during the early '90s, let me refresh your memory. Naked Pregnant Woman appeared on cover of magazine, making the public question their own ideas of decency, femininity, and the sanctity that is considered Motherhood. The debate has raged on, though to a lesser degree, with the introduction of Britney Spears' cover.

Now, what I find particularly intriguing about this topic is that on one hand women want to be sexy. They want men, or women if they are lesbians, to desire them. While on the other hand they also want to be wives and mothers. (I am speaking very generally here, so please don't post tons of responses about this!) But is this really on the other hand, or is being a mother also supposed to be sexy? Considering that pregnancy takes up the better part of a year, add to that the breastfeeding period, and then the disheveled toddler period, this "Complete Momminess" lasts for at least 5 years, and that is with only one child. During these years I am sure women still want to be considered sexy. They still want their husbands to look at them like they are the most delicious thing in the kitchen...That said, why was Demi, and now Britney, so controversial?

The answer seems to be twofold. The first part has to do with women and their own self identifications. The very ideal of Motherhood is one of Pure Goodness, Unconditional Giving, Selflessness, Sainthood! Mixed with these ideas are all sorts of religious undertones, making Motherhood itself almost a state of perpetual Holiness (think Virgin Mary...that's right, VIRGIN!). And we wonder why we are so confused as women as to what we want to be...Sex Goddess or Virgin Mother?! The answer is sadly...Both. I say sadly not because it is wrong to want both images, but because our society still views the two simultaneous states of womanhood as a dichotomy. We as normal, everyday women, feel confused and guilty for wanting our husbands and lovers to drool over us, even when we are pregnant, even when we are changing diapers, (yes...even then!). It is no wonder that when confronted with an image of a blatantly sexualized pregnant body, women feel torn...Is it good that Demi is still "hot" or is she being a "bad mother" already? And how dare she flaunt it in our faces that she has already come to terms with this largely unconscious issue?!

The second part has to do with men and how they should react to a pregnant body according to women. If women within themselves struggle to come to a consensus about whether pregnancy should be sexy, what on earth should the men think? In reality, what do the men think?

Well, what do you think? Are pregnant women sexy? Is motherhood a sexy state of being? Do you feel guilty about being attracted to your pregnant wife? Are you not attracted to your pregnant wife for any of these reasons...or are you just turned off by her bigger body?

I would love to know, so please click on the "comments" link below! Your views are very much appreciated!