Anal Bleaching, All the Cool Kids are Doing It!

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And by Cool Kids I mean porn stars, strippers, celebrities, and your kinky next door neighbor. Until a few days ago I'd never heard of anal bleaching. Apparently I've been completely missing this, um, "interesting" personal care trend. It's even been mentioned in big time women's magazines like Marie Claire. Since anal shaving and waxing are regular beauty Musts in today's glamorous world, I guess this is the logical next step.

But what exactly is anal bleaching?

For those of you who've been living under a rock like I have, the Urban Dictionary explains anal bleaching as a Cosmetic Technique:

"Whereby strong bleaching solutions like hydroquinones are used to lighten the anal area. This procedure is employed by strippers, body builders, actors and actresses. Seems over time, the butticular area becomes darker (some say it's due to dark foods like coffee, others speculate it's due to staining from the bilirubin content in feces.) Either way, those who aspire to wear butt floss as swimwear or do pole dancing seem to feel a lighter sphincter will improve their image.”

Huh, so it's precisely as it sounds. We should all aspire for anuses that are perfectly blended into the surrounding color of our buttocks skin, or slightly pinker for added emphasis. I don't know about you, but I'm very happy to have something as important as this to worry about! Phew! My life was getting a little too stress-free for my liking.

What Causes the "Offensive" Anal Discoloration in the First Place?

This is point of contention between those who want to position anal bleaching as a health and hygiene issue verses those who want to promote it as a cosmetic beauty treatment. On the Health side, reasons include anal staining due to excessive coffee and soda drinking, as well as poor wiping techniques that smears your you-know-what around instead of actually wiping it away. After years of poor eating habits and bad wiping, the skin around the anus becomes darker. A quick solution is to bleach away the damage, just like we bleach away stains on our teeth (even though it's not actually bleach but a heavy peroxide-based cleaning gel). Once that is accomplished, special "wipes" can be used to keep your anus its new perfect color. Oddly these "special wipes" look just like ordinary "baby wipes" repackaged and sold for a lot more, but who am I to judge?

On the Beauty Treatment side, the main reason given for anal discoloration is genetic. Some people simply have more pigment in that area than others. Personally, I'm on this side of the debate - if we can call it a debate. Just like some people have dark nipples and labia while others have light, some people have dark anuses and some people don't. It seems those who "don't" are winning the underground anal beauty war at the moment...


Where is Everyone Getting These Anal Bleaches?

Upscale salons and spas are starting to offer this treatment more and more. Sure, you have to know where to look and be willing to pay half your yearly income to acquire a wonderful porn-style anus, but it's worth it!

And if you're too embarrassed to go to a salon or spa for this very personal treatment, you can do it by yourself in the comfort of your own home. You have to love the entrepreneurial spirit surrounding this whole thing. Do a quick Google search and you'll find lots of e-shops willing to provide you with all your anal bleaching needs. There's ShopInPrivate.com and even eBay to help you out! (And yes, they sell the Very-Special-Wipes too!)

My Not-So-Humble thought on Anal Bleaching...

Call me crazy, but bending over in front of a mirror and looking between my ass cheeks is not something I do on a regular basis. Sure I give it a check every once in a while, and I'll even go so far as making sure it's silky smooth for those special occasions or when I want to have an extra good time that night...But bleaching?! Thanks but no thanks, I'll keep my anus what ever color my genetics decided it should be.

And for the record, if my sex partner actually cared enough about the color of my ass to have it negatively affect our sex life, I'd seriously consider finding a more open-minded and loving person to play with. "Photoshop" does not make for good sex anyway.

Related Posts:

Getting Anal Sex Right - The First Time

Yep, That Would be a Vagina...

Vulvology - Which I assume refers to the study of vulvas - is a website dedicated to showing pictures of vaginas. Actually I think the plural of vagina is vaginae, but have you ever heard anyone use that word before? Other than in the medical profession, maybe? No? Neither have I, so I'm going to keep using "vaginas."

Anyways, the site is supposed to be "an homage to the eternal and ubiquitous woman, through the glorification of her geographic and conceptual center, enveloped in mystery in all cultures and ages," and the creator is apparently very upset that it is often classified as porn since she is so staunchly against all forms of pornography. On this I agree. Picture after picture of vaginas doing nothing but sitting there is not porn. If viewers get turned on by them, so be it, but just because something causes sexual excitement does not mean it's necessarily porn. After all, many people think high heeled boots are a turn-on, but shoe shops aren't porn shops after all!

However, I find her absolute dislike of all pornography off-putting. "Did I tell you how I dislike pornography?" She says and, "You know what I hate the most? It's when they make the girls open their lips (labia) with their hands." Hmmm, I personally get really excited when my lover tells me to do exactly this. It makes me feel sexy, tempting, and desired. I love that he wants to look at me that closely, and adore being given orders in bed. But, to each her own.

So although I was annoyed reading her vagina-attached thoughts, and was mostly confused by the strange labels she used to categorize the pictures (Bivalve, Leaves, Walnuts?), its pseudo-feminist oddities intrigued me. Plus, if I ever wondered what other women's vaginas looked like without the porn-star makeovers, consider my curiosity sated.



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Sexy Artistic Tattoos

Lucky you! I couldn't figure out which picture I liked better so you get to see both of these hotties. Now, on with the article.

I think tattoos are very sexy, though I don't have any myself. There are many reasons for their appeal, perhaps the least of which is the look. Of course, like these lovely women point out, the look of a well placed and artistically designed tattoo has obvious sex appeal.

Much like lingerie, the idea of these tattoos is to emphasize the wearer's nudity. When people ask, "Why is she wearing a g-string? You can see everything. She might as well be naked!" they are clearly missing the point. The carefully positioned stringy things are not meant as a cover, but as a decoration. Rather than hide her "naughty bits" lingerie is supposed to attract the eyes (hands, mouth, etc.) to them. It's supposed to make her curves and shadows that much more tempting...Just like a good tattoo (IMHO).

But even sexier than making your fingertips itch to run over the dips and contours of every tattooed line, the real eroticism is decidedly psychological.

First you have to consider the design, character, etc. of the tattoo itself. It's safe to assume that for whatever reason the wearer decided to forever identify themselves by and with it. For example, the woman above has a detailed Dragon on her back, something that must have taken a very long time to do. Why did she pick a Dragon? What does it symbolize to her? Does that say anything about the type of person she is, her values, her imagination, etc.? And if someone else's tattoo holds you transfixed, even momentarily, does that mean you have a connection to them...perhaps on a deeper unconscious level? (After all, there are tattoos that make you go "Eh, big deal" and then there are some that make you stop in your tracks!)

Secondly, tattoos have traditionally been a mark of bravery, strength, and the willingness to persevere, since getting them necessarily involves the ordeal of voluntarily pain. The larger and more intricate the tattoo, the more painful you know it was to get. Again, the fact that the wearer actually went through with getting it says something about them. Maybe they did it to test their own endurance. Maybe to prove to someone else that they were strong enough. Maybe because they enjoyed the pain...

And therein lies the real reason why I personally get turned on by tattoos...the pain. When I see a great tattoo I can't help but imagine what that person was like while in the process of acquiring it. If it's a man, I love that he was able to do it, stone-faced, determined, focused. After all, if he could withstand hours of being jabbed repeatedly with a needle all for the sake of attaining a goal, he should be a fairly stable and ambitious guy. (Yes, I can hear the chorus of readers singing their disagreement now.)

And finally, a tattoo just makes a man look daring, bad-ass, and tough-as-hell. All qualities that make me tingle in just the right places...

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Erotic? What's That?!

I came across an interesting blog article called Where is the Real Sex? It's not on a sex blog per se, but the author brought up a good point, arguing that sex in American pop culture (music, movies, etc.) has lost its erotic appeal. Val concludes, "too many Americans are not afraid of sex but eroticism terrifies them." And I think I agree, though admittedly I haven't given this much thought yet.

To help me work through this issue I consulted the all-knowing Merriam-Webster dictionary online. According to this oracle, Erotic is: "of, devoted to, or tending to arouse sexual love or desire" or "strongly marked or affected by sexual desire." Hmm, sounds good, but what exactly is Desire? Apparently it's "to long or hope for" and "stresses the strength of feeling and often implies strong intention or aim."

So as I understand it, an erotic scene would be one that causes the viewer to become sexually aroused, but on an emotional level (hence the sexual love part) as well as a physical one, AND causes the viewer to want to have sex in such a manner. Based on this, I agree with Val, most sex scenes or suggestive videos do not meet these requirements because they lack the emotional depth for this kind of sexual appeal.

The flat sexuality that is often portrayed undoubtedly causes physical arousal for most people. It doesn't take much to make humans hard, wet, get to get them thinking about sex in its general forms. Like other animals, we're programmed to behave in these ways with the right stimulus. But are these images putting you in an erotic frame of mind? Is it making you look at the object of your sexual desire with love...or at the very least sexual respect?

Probably not. There is a difference between sticking your penis in someone, jostling it about for a while, and then taking it out verses actually experiencing the combination of nervous excitement, expectation, longing, and emotional catharsis that a truly erotic encounter can create. It's the difference between eating your favorite foods with a clothespin on your nose verses taking your time to fully breath and savor the bursts of flavor in every bite.

Knowing this, my question becomes, why are we taking away the sinfully pleasurable indulgences of our sexuality and constantly passing around the boring stuff? My only answer is that it's much easier to trigger our physical responses than our sexual emotions. (No I'm not going into the feminist women-as-objects-in-our-culture-debate here!) Showing a woman's ass bouncing around in a thong is very easy to capture on film. Making the viewer fall in sexual love with her and want to have emotionally passionate sex with her is much much harder.

But wouldn't it be worth the effort? Think back, and I'm sure there have been at least a couple scenes that have aroused all of you, not just your body. Weren't those the truly memorable ones? Didn't you replay them in your mind just to feel that incredible sexual craving again? Of course you did, because it's one of those rare feelings that make life worth living. It's passion. It's intensity. It's exactly what you felt when you first fell in love/lust.

And we're letting our creative laziness block it out!

So here's what I want you, my highly appreciated readers to do. Tell me in the comments section what movies, videos, etc. are really erotic to watch. I want to see them! I want to feel them! And I want to give credit to those artists who went beyond the physical to give us a glimpse of the real reason we love sex.

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"Hot Man's" Best Performance Yet!

Yes, I'm allowed to feed my own pathetic obsessions too! But for everyone else who enjoyed last weeks piece on Julien the Hottie, trust me, this performance is even better!

Be patient, he starts off "normal" and "calm" but...wait for it...wait for it...TINGLES! Yum.

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Wanna Know Who I Think Is Sexy?

Aahhhh to be my Sexy Man. What does it take...Good looks, charisma, and charm? Sensitivity, sweetness, and compassion?

Nope, no way, boring. To catch my attention you have to be risky, on the edge, and multi-faceted. I like a man who makes me go, "What?! What?!" and then, "What?!" He has to make me laugh with his quirkiness, excite me with his lack of conformity, and challenge my ideas of masculinity. He has to be thoughtful at times, borderline depressive at others, and then completely out of his mind when it's time to break free. I want him to take me on his emotional roller-coasters, drag me to my own limits and dangle me over the abyss - all the while knowing that no one else could be as symbiotically beautiful as we are together. Even if it is our dysfunctions that make us perfectly functional, he has to be dependable, honest, and totally committed. It's an unusual mixture, but these men do exist (I'm married to one). So when I see these traits in another man, I have to smile.

Julien, in the above clips, is such a man. He's unquestionably bizarre, oddly handsome, and really really sexy. I know a lot of women won't agree with me, and will think I'm insane...But then again a lot of women will understand. When he says, "You know that I would be a liar, if I were to say to you, Girl we couldn't get much higher...Come on Baby light my fire!" I believe him. It's like he can't control himself, begging you to take it to the next level. Come on Baby, kick it up a notch! Turn me on, get me excited. I dare you!

And the naughty side of me can't help but respond. OK, Mr. Cocky, let's see what you can really do...

So I'm dedicating this post to all those women who SEE his incredible sexiness, who get turned on by explicitly passionate men, and who would never back away from such a challenge!

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