Booty Calls - When Porn Just Isn't Enough!

We've all been there at some point...Well, most of us anyway. It's late. You're horny. And watching those little people on the screen bang away at each other just isn't doing it for you. Nope, tonight you want...you need...the real thing.

So you get to thinking about your options. At the top is usually your X's if you're still on speaking terms. Hell, even if you aren't you'll probably still add them to your mental list of do-ables. After all, at some point in history they agreed to sleep with you so your chances of hooking up with one of them is a lot greater than with the girl you passed on the street earlier who got you in this mood in the first place! Then you remember you have no X's...

Next on the list might be your "good friends." Yep, you think, good friends can come with "benefits" right? He/she did give you that come-hither look a couple days ago...didn't they? Hmm, maybe you imagined it. You're starting to hallucinate. Moving right along...

Ugh! You've exhausted your list of 3-D PlayPals and have wound up thinking about the people in your computer again! That's right, your 2-D chat buddies are now your most viable sex pool. Sorry, but it's really not looking good for you.

"No! No! Don't do it!" You think to yourself...but your fingers take on a life of their own, and it's too late. To your disgust you're now trolling the chat rooms, and have confirmed your loser status.

My apologies, GAME OVER.

So, when asked how far you'd go for a late night booty call, here's what you said:

I would drive for...

1 Hour Max! - 39%
3o Minutes and No More! - 22%
As Long As It Takes! I'm Really Desperate!- 16%
Only 15 Minutes, I Get It All The Time Anyway! - 11%
A Booty What? I've Never Heard of Such a Thing! - 6%

Ha, Thanks for Voting My Little Lovelies!!!

Come Here...I Want to Smell You!

A hug. A kiss. A cuddle before bed.

Whether you're conscious of it or not, the way your lover smells plays a large roll in your every day interactions with them. More so than anyone else, your lover is allowed to pass in and out of your invisible personal space barriers almost as if they didn't exist. (Sometimes to a very annoying degree!) This close proximity forces you to breathe in their scent, be it natural/perfumed, good/bad, and as a result, your brain makes primitive judgments about your overall sexual compatibility.

In recent years perfumes/colognes claiming to contain human sexual pheromones have become common place on the market. The manufacturers of these scents say that the pheromones will attract lovers to the wearer without any extra effort. For example, all a woman would have to do is walk by and smell your ultra-sexy, pheromone-enhanced masculine scent and she would fall adoringly at your feet. Now although effects of this magnitude are not only statistically improbable, but realistically ridiculous, there is something to be said about the way a potential lover smells.

Studies have shown that women in particular use scent as part of their mate selection criteria (maybe because women have a better sense of smell than do men). One study led by Chris Wedekind at the University of Bern in Switzerland found that women were most attracted to men who had dissimilar MHC profiles than their own.

"A segment of our DNA called the major histocompatibility complex (MHC) codes for some of these disease-detecting structures, which function as the immune systems eyes. When a disease is recognized, the immune system's teeth--the killer T cells--are alerted, and they swarm the intruders, smothering them with destructive enzymes. Unlike many genes, which have one or two alternative versions (like the genes that code for attached or unattached ear lobes), MHC genes have dozens of alternatives. And unlike earlobe genes, in which the version inherited from one parent dominates so that the version inherited from the other parent is not expressed, MHC genes are "co-dominant." This means that if a lab mouse inherits a version of an MHC gene for resistance to Disease A from its mother and a version lending resistance to Disease B from its father, that mouse will be able to resist both diseases." (Furlow, 1996)

Right...What does this mean exactly?! It means that women picked the men whose immune system profiles were the least like their own. If she were to have a child with the men she thought smelled the best, then that child would have the best of both immune systems, essentially making it stronger than both parents. This is how mice select their partners...and it seems human women do the same thing.

So there is no elite group of Good Smelling Men. There will always be some women who like a particular man's smell and some who don't.

But once you've found that partner with the perfect smell...When is the best time to give them a loving sniff? Here are the results of last week's poll:

During Sex - 26% (No surprise there!)
Just Before Sex - 21%
After a Shower - 21%
After Sex - 16%
When You Wake Up - 11%
After a Work Out - 5%

Just a thought - If you think your partner smells their best right after a shower, you might want to ask yourself why. This is typically when they smell least like their natural selves...and based on the evidence above, you might be sleeping with the wrong person!

Thanks for voting!

Source: Article Title: The Smell of Love: How Women Rate the Sexiness and Pleasantness of a Man's Body Odor Hinges on How Much of Their Genetic Profile Is Shared. Contributors: F. Bryant Furlow - author. Magazine Title: Psychology Today. Volume: 29. Issue: 2. Publication Date: March-April 1996. Page Number: 38+. COPYRIGHT 1996 Sussex Publishers, Inc.; COPYRIGHT 2002 Gale Group.

What Type of Sex Do You Fantasize About Most When You Masturbate?

I'm sorry, did the picture give it away?! The results of last week's poll were pretty clear...During your privatest moments of self-indulgence most of you conjured up images of Oral Sex! In some ways I was surprised by this. I thought people might fantasize about things they rarely did in life, but considering that oral-genital contact is part of many couples' routine sexual scripts (you know how you fall into a pattern with your partner after a while? That's what I mean by "sexual script."), I would have thought anal sex might win since it is, in general, less practiced. But I was wrong! (I love being wrong...keeps life full of surprises!) Now I am left wondering what could be the reasons for your oral sex preference?

Does oral sex feel better than other types of sex so the thought of it turns you on more? Is the basic imagery more appealing? Does the thought of having your most sensitive and vulnerable body parts between someone else's potentially hazardous teeth excite you? Hmmm, all interesting questions.

Personally, I think my answer would have been Manual Sex, but Oral would have been a very close second!

And now for the official results:

• Oral - 53%
• Vaginal - 25%
• Anal - 11%
• Manual - 11%
  

As always, thank you very much to everyone who voted, and be sure to check out this weeks poll!

Disney's Sex Goddess Revealed...or...Disempowering the Enemy

Disney's Sex Goddess Revealed!

Yep, the winner of the Disney's Sexiest Character Contest goes to...Jasmine from Aladin! Congratulations Aladin, you are the luckiest of them all, and the envy of every cartoon man in the imagination! I must admit, I had to laugh at the results of this poll because they were all over the place. Just as many people voted that they would "Do Them All" as said "Eeewww, None You Pervert! They're Cartoons!" I guess when it comes to finding cartoon characters attractive or not there are a lot of people on both sides of this issue. I can't wait for the fight between them when it comes...and it will come! Oh yeah, and if you were wondering why Pocahontas was not one of the contestants last week it's because her raccoon friend died and she was trying to commune with his spirit via the mystical talking tree.

Here are the complete results without Pocahontas:

Jasmine from Aladin - 36%
Belle from Beauty and the Beast - 14%
I'd Do Them All! - 14%
Eeewww, None! - 14%
Snow White - 10%
Cinderella - 4%
Ariel from The Little Mermaid - 4%
Sleeping Beauty - 4%

So now that the big reveal is over, here are my real thoughts on why Jasmine was picked as the sexiest of them all...Hold on to your chairs because I'm about to get psycho-political on your @ss!

Disempowering the Enemy

Let's start at a very basic level, shall we? Whenever two groups of people fight, both sides are usually scared of the group they are fighting; if for no other reason than the other group might actually win, kill tem, and take over!

Now in general, as humans, we don't like to be scared or act cowardly. This means that in order to fight and be brave, we have to devise various means to get over our fears, and in the case of war, this means getting over our fears of the enemy.

One very classic way to get over a fear is to make the object of our fear seem much less threatening in our perceptions of them. Traditionally when the object of our fear is a human enemy, for men there are two ways to do this effectively.

The first is through humor - if you represent your enemy as something to laugh at, then the real threat to you seems diminished. How can something that is so pathetically funny be dangerous? Humor is generally used to disempower male enemies. (During WWI the U.S. spewed tons of propaganda around that portrayed male Japanese soldiers as caricatures who could do nothing right, let alone shoot and kill you! The result for U.S. soldiers was a feeling of superiority over the enemy - not fear - and the Japanese now seemed much less threatening.)

The second is through sexuality - if you represent your enemy as an overly sexual, overly animalistic race in their behaviors/desires, then you as a rational, mentally-advanced human have a much better chance of conquering them. Sexuality is generally used to disempower female enemies.

By reducing the women of your enemy to sexually promiscuous, non-thinking animals just waiting to be overtaken by you, your fear that the women may also be just as real of a threat as the men is greatly reduced. After all, these enemy women are just there to be your sexual entertainment while you are taking over their country...they won't hide knives up their skirts and kill you while you undo your zipper...No! They aren't that clever!

Aside from simply reducing fear, there are other psychological benefits associated with reducing enemy women to sexual objects. It helps to relieve guilt. After all, if you envision your enemy's women as being the same as your own pious and virginal sisters and mothers, how could you just walk into their country, their homes, and kill the men they love. It just wouldn't sit right with you.

Are You Seeing The Connection to Jasmine Yet?!

So, after understanding all of this, isn't it interesting that in this particular day and age, when much of the world considers the Middle East to be the enemy, the terrorists, the Evil Ones...that people would vote Jasmine, the only Middle Eastern Disney Character, to be the sexiest one of all?!

Why is she sexy to you?

Since all of the Disney characters have the same perfect cartoon bodies, why Jasmine?

Is Jasmine the most do-able because she might be the easiest? Would she do anything to please you? Would she have less morals and inhibitions than the White European characters? Do you respect her less so wouldn't feel as badly behaving in not-so-nice ways with her? Is she less intelligent than the others? Would having sex with her make you feel better about the world? Go Ahead, ask yourself...what makes her sexy? Your answer might surprise you.

But hey, I might be wrong. Maybe Jasmine is just "hot" because she's "hot." Maybe it doesn't matter who the enemy is right now, or that we have a global desire to disempower the Middle East...

But then again, Maybe I'm Right.

What's the Most Kissable Body Part? You Told Me!

Want to know what the most kissable body part is (Besides the most obvious ones!)? You guessed it, the thigh! Soaring above all other erogenous zones, the thighs won out, capturing 27% of your votes as the place you most wished to be kissed this New Years! Well, did your wish come true? I certainly hope it did!

As the 'keeper of secrets' the thighs are known as the gateway to sexual pleasure for both men and women. With the right amount of kissing, caressing, and fondling these gates will open smoothly, giving you plenty of time to frolic around in the Promised Land...But beware! Try to barge or plunder your way in and you'll not only end up locked outside the gates, but magically transported to a land far far away (such as the Cold Shoulder Mountains)! And by the way, NO ONE voted for the shoulders!

Here are the complete results of Most Kissable Body Parts of 2006...

1. Thighs - 27%
2. Tummy/Chest - 21%
3. Neck - 19%
4. Lips - 18%
5. Ears - 12%
6. Back - 2%
7. Hands/Feet - 1%
8. Shoulders - 0%

Now that you're armed with this information, you have plenty of time to devise your very own evil plan of Kissing Seduction for New Year's 2008. So go on, think ahead...people like it when you plan, it shows you've put in the effort. And effort is always appreciated...isn't it? Well, isn't it?!

Thanks for voting!

Where's the Best Place to Get Wet & Wild? You've Decided...

The best place to get your woman (or yourself) wet is...The Shower or Bathtub. What traditionalists you are! With an overwhelming 47% you've made me a believer that when it comes to sex, people usually go with what's most convenient. How decidedly boring! At least a few of you were more adventurous and thought having sex in the rain or the ocean would be a nice reason to get out of the house! The complete results were:

1. Shower/Bathtub 47%
2. Pool 16%
3. Rain 13%
4. Water & Sex Should NOT Mix 11%
   
5. Lake 8%
6. Ocean 2%

I was surprised that only 2% of you liked the idea of having sex in the ocean best. Is that because you aren't near a beach? Because you haven't done it before? I think sex in the ocean can be a great experience, especially since the natural rocking of the waves are able to set a very luxurious pace.

And a whopping 11% don't like sex and water at all! Wow, much higher than I expected! So the next time you decide to surprise your partner with a romantic bath, make sure you know before hand whether he or she will actually get your non-too-subtle hint...Instead of welcoming you in, he/she may leave you on the wrong side of the locked door! However if this does happen, don't despair, After Bath Sex may still be in your future...just not the dripping wet kind you originally had in mind.

Personally, I like the rain idea. Summer thunderstorms bring with them an electricity all their own, and if I'm ever lucky enough to have that moment when everything seems to come together just right for it to happen, the storm won't be the only thing causing my world to sizzle and boom!

Last Week's Poll Results - So, What Are Your Favorite Kinks?!

Because I'm sure you are just falling over your chair in suspense...Your Number One Kink Is...Sex in Public!! We have a winner by far! Here are the full results of last week's poll:

1. Sex in Public - 38%
2. Role Play - 21%
3. Spanking - 15%
4. Bondage - 10%
5. Other - 8%
6. No Kinks - 5%
7. Humiliation - 3%

So, in honor of all you crazy people out there who tingle at the idea of maybe getting caught doing something naughty in a place that you know you should be doing something more socially acceptable, (like sitting quietly and watching the movie like everyone else thank you very much!) I will write about all the many possibilities available this side of being arrested. You do realize that is a possibility, right? Indecent exposure and all that, remember? But I won't bore you with the down side of your kinks because honestly, those are no fun to think about. Plus, being arrested for having sex in a department store changing room does make for a great story to tell your grandchildren someday...Here goes, my top ten list of the best places to have sex outside of your home, hotel room, or car. Yes I did just include CAR in there. It just doesn't count as being risky enough to be deemed sex in public, OK? Without further ado, from the most boring to the most daring,

The Top 10 Places to Get Your Groove On Where You Shouldn't...

1. Any Restroom - Airplanes, Nightclubs, etc. This gets a low rating because you are usually behind closed doors in an already mostly private place. After all, who hasn't done this at least once?
   
2. Department Store Changing Room - Same basic risk as above, but a little less frequently done.
   
3. Beach - during the day only! You'll probably be alone on the beach at night anyway you wacko!
   
4. Park - again during the day only! Bonus points the closer you get to the kiddie park without being detected. It would be very uncool to be caught here on so many levels.
   
5. Hotel/Public Pool - Aren't there usually cameras, especially during the 'closed' hours...?
   
6. At the Theater - No not the movies! <insert snotty voice here> the Theater. Bonus points if it's an opera and you do it in the 'private' box seats!
   
7. Uppity Golf Course - It's a golf course, need I say more?!
   
8. Unused Classroom - Live out two fantasies at the same time with this! Somebody's being a naughty student...in so many ways!
9. Back Seat of a Taxi - I know I said cars didn't count in the beginning, but if you have the guts to do it with an unknown driver sitting up close and personal, I salute you! Huge Bonuses for not getting yourselves kicked out before you've arrived at your desired destination!

And finally, the number 10 place to do it in public...

10. A Graveyard!

Although I agree that this may not be the riskiest place to get caught by the living...it is the only place that you may be caught by the dead!!! Not only is this intriguing because it's in public, it also has the many added benefits of making you feel truly excited, pleasantly scared, and deliciously wicked!

There you have it. I do hope you've enjoyed the list, and perhaps have a new idea or two for your next little tryst into social depravity. Have fun, and don't worry, your kinkiest secrets are safe with me...

Question! Have you done it in one of these places? What, you know a better place?! Please leave a comment and tell us all about it! Thanks!